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By Jamie C. Williamson

Most gift givers assume that a more expensive present will be more appreciated, yet receivers don’t appreciate expensive gifts more than other less expensive gifts.  And, that goes for gifts of clothes, wine, home décor, jewelry, and even the price of an engagement ring.

Research clearly shows that money can’t buy you love. Instead, when it comes to gift giving, it truly is the thought (and effort) that counts.

So, how do you select the “right” gift? 

Selecting the right gift begins with the understanding that the gift you give – no matter the cost – communicates how you feel about the receiver and the relationship you share. If you want your partner to receive a message of love, appreciation, admiration, and commitment, then you need a gift that makes that statement.

A good gift is tailored to the needs and desires of the receiver and communicates commitment to the relationship.

But the best gifts do all of that and more. The best gifts also reflect effort and high levels of involvement.

It truly is the thought and effort that counts.

For example, if your husband dreams of owning a sailboat and you can’t afford it, don’t buy him a toolbox or new pair of running shoes. Show him you want his dreams to come true. Buy him a sailboat (and captain) for-a-day. Arrange with his boss for a day off, schedule childcare, buy him a pair of deck shoes. Then, the two of you go for a day of sailing. If that is too much, buy him a subscription for Sailing magazine, open a special “sailing” savings account, and start saving for next year’s rental or even boat ownership. Just let him know his dream is your dream, too.

Or if your wife is a busy mother who longs for the romance and excitement of your early marriage but barely has time to blow dry her hair, don’t buy her a gold bracelet or the truly forbidden food processor (unless it comes with a cooking class in Italy). If she longs to feel passionate again, show her she is still the woman you married. Buy her a day of luxury and romance.

Do all the planning. Book her into a resort spa, arrange for her to have a day off, arrange childcare, schedule her a massage, mani-pedi, facial, and blow-out (or whichever services you can afford).  Give her a new sexy top to wear, and end with an overnight “date night” at the resort. If that’s too much, then give her the mani-pedi, send the kids to grandma’s, and prepare a romantic dinner at home.  Just let her know for sure that, to you, she’s not just a mom, she’s the love of your life.

Here’s a less extravagant example. Last year around Thanksgiving, my husband broke his favorite reading glasses. I could have easily ordered him a new pair of readers. But, I knew they wouldn’t be the same.  So, I found an optometrist’s office willing to repair the old ones, wrapped the repaired glasses in tissue, and put them in his Christmas stocking.

Getting the glasses repaired was tailored to my husband’s needs and the effort showed my commitment to him and our relationship. The effort also showed a high level of involvement (I had to do a lot of running around rather than just order something online).

Although my husband received other more expensive gifts last year, the repaired readers were his favorite because they communicated to him the lengths I would go to make him happy.   In turn, he was happy with me.

Love is, after all, an action word.

Try sharing this article with your partner to start a discussion about what you both might want most for yourselves and your relationship this year. Acknowledge that the best gifts are tailored to the receiver’s unique needs and desires, reflect effort and involvement on your part, and demonstrate your commitment to the person and the relationship you share. Then shop creatively so you have the best (and perhaps, least expensive) Christmas ever.

If you want to give your partner a private and fun marriage refresher course, contact me and I’ll set it up for you.

Jamie C. Williamson, PhD is a FL Supreme Court Certified Family Mediator and Couples Counselor who is part of the Gottman Referral Network.  She is an owner and partner at Amity Mediation Workshop, a mediation practice specializing in “friendly divorce” mediation and psycho-educational counseling for couples.  Dr. Jamie speaks frequently on relationship topics and authors the blog “Work it Out”.  You can find her online at amitymediationworkshop.com.

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by Michael McManus LCSW

Book Review

In “Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear,” Elizabeth Gilbert invites readers to embark on a transformative journey that transcends traditional notions of creativity. I use Audible to listen to books and this is an especially delightful book to listen to as Elizabeth Gilbert herself beautifully narrates it. I often refer this book to clients and use concepts in this book with clients who feel stuck or blocked or who struggle with unrealized potential. This book asserts that creativity is not the exclusive domain of artists; rather, it is a vital force that can enhance every facet of our lives. Whether you are a parent, teacher, attorney, physician or entrepreneur, Gilbert’s insights will resonate deeply, empowering you to embrace your innate creativity and apply it to your everyday life.

Throughout the book, Gilbert shares personal anecdotes and reflections, creating a relatable narrative that speaks to the heart of human experience. She champions the idea that engaging with our creativity is not only fulfilling but essential for living a rich and meaningful life.

One of the most empowering aspects of “Big Magic” is its emphasis on overcoming fear—the common barrier that stifles creativity. Gilbert candidly addresses the fears that plague us all, from the fear of failure to the fear of judgment. She encourages readers to confront these fears head-on, suggesting that creativity flourishes when we allow ourselves to take risks and embrace imperfection. Gilbert reassures us that creativity is not about being flawless; it’s about exploration, experimentation, and growth.

Moreover, Gilbert’s exploration of the mystical nature of inspiration is a highlight of the book. She personifies ideas as entities that seek out individuals to collaborate with. This perspective encourages readers to remain open to inspiration in their daily lives.

In conclusion, “Big Magic” is a powerful reminder that creativity is not confined to the realm of artists, but is a vital force that can enrich every aspect of our lives. Elizabeth Gilbert’s wisdom inspires us to reclaim our creative instincts, encouraging us to live boldly and authentically. This book is an essential read for anyone seeking to ignite their creativity and embrace the magic that lies within. I love this beautifully written book and if you embrace it with an open heart, it can bring out hidden treasures within you and change your life.

Michael McManus LCSW is a psychotherapist in private practice in Santa Rosa Beach and can be reached at (850)-837-0123 or psychotherapy30A.com

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By Stephenie Craig

It’s easier to be loving and kind when you agree and have things in common with others. But, what happens when you’re sitting around the table and someone shares an opinion wildly different than yours? Or, what happens when someone you don’t really know expresses ideas counterintuitive to your beliefs or values? What happens when someone is rude and critical of your thoughts and beliefs? What version of yourself shows up in that moment?

Culture currently encourages polarized thought and cutting people out of your life when you disagree. News and social media feed the narrative of each person having freedom to do and say what they want regardless of how it impacts others. And, legally, in most cases you do have that freedom. However, it might be wise to take a moment to reflect on who you want to be regarding your long-term character goals.

When you get to the end of life, how do you want to have shown up in the world? Do you want to be known for what you were against or what you were for? Do you want to be known for being right or for having healthy relationships? Do you want to be known for making people feel small or lifting people up?

So, in a world with so many conflicting perspectives, how do you become a loving, mature version of yourself?

8 Ways to Engage Your Loving, Mature Version of Self

1. Investigate value origins. Values originate from sources including family of origin, national origin, faith background, generational influences, trauma background, racial background, ethnic background, media influences, political background, life experience, and many others. Reflect on the tapestry of your own values background. Remember the above variables have many expressions that have shaped another’s values.
2. Consider different does not equal less. When surrounded by others who hold similar views to your own, you can assume people with different views/values/attitudes are less righteous, less intelligent, less moral, less patriotic, less religious, have less inherent worth, and are generally less than you. Viewing others as less leads to self-righteous posture that repels connection and relationship.
3. Consider you don’t have the corner on values definitions. Values such as integrity, kindness, decency, morality, and freedom have various expressions. While it is important that values have some commonly agreed upon definitions, it can be helpful to remember defining values incredibly specifically assumes you are right and most everyone else is wrong.
4. Hold fast to your values while making space for others. Defining and living by your values is a healthy pursuit. And, remember that others are walking through the same process with different value backgrounds. You can be clear about what you believe while respecting the humanity of those with different views.
5. Disagree with curiosity rather than judgment. Knowing what you believe and living your life in open alignment with your values is good. When interacting with someone who holds conflicting ideas, try suspending judgment and asking curious questions about how they developed their perspective. Openness to others’ life experiences often results in growth for the listener and we all have room to grow.
6. Focus more on your character than on the conflicting values. Acknowledge the conflict of values while asking yourself what character you want to exhibit toward other humans. Allow your character goals to lead as you engage conflicting values rather than allowing the values conflict to lead your character.
7. Engage boundaries before ending a relationship. If values conversations get heated or disrespectful, try suggesting avoidance of the topic to preserve the relationship or refuse to participate in conversations that feel hostile. Ending relationships can be necessary at times when boundaries are continuously disrespected, however, working through boundaries communication first helps preserve relationships in many cases.
8. View people with different values as a challenge to grow rather than as villains. When we define others as villains, we give energy to feeling resentful and disempowered. When we define others as a challenge to grow, we give energy to expanding our emotional and behavioral capacities both in immediate interactions with those who challenge us and beyond into many other areas of life.

Remember to give yourself and others compassion and patience as you evaluate and grow in showing up as a loving, mature version of yourself in the world. The discomfort of growth most often results in widespread positive life change over time. Connect with us at Journeybravely.com for counseling and coaching support along your journey.

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By Christian Regalado

It’s been a busy year for health insurance.  Some big changes happened in Medicare prescription coverage for 2025 and many people on individual plans had noticeable premium changes. If you have Medicare Advantage and take prescription drugs pay attention starting in January. Prices on next month’s prescriptions may surprise you.  If this happens and you have a Medicare Advantage plan you may want to give me a call.  If this happens and you have a stand-alone PDP plan, you may want to contact your doctor to see if there are other drugs that are on your plan’s formulary to substantially lower your costs.  Feel free to contact me if you need some clarity and advice.

Baby Boomers are still turning 65 at record numbers. We are fortunate that there are many choices of Medicare plans available in the South Walton/Destin area. Most people end up with one of the many Medicare Advantage plans available here. More and more folks are signing up on Medicare Supplement and Prescription Drug plans, which provide excellent coverage.

Which one is best for you? It all depends on your particular needs and how you plan to use your Medicare plan. That is where a broker can be helpful by asking questions and guiding you to the plan and insurance carrier that best fits your needs. It can be a confusing process but a local broker is a great asset to help navigate the many options.

When you read this, it will be after the end of the Annual Enrollment Period on December 7. This is the annual opportunity to change your Medicare Advantage plan or Prescription Drug Plan (PDP) for a January 1 effective date. If you missed this and would still like to make a change, you can still do so for an Advantage plan between January 1 and March 31 but it’s too late to change a PDP plan.

Medicare had many changes in 2025. This was primarily due to the Medicare prescription maximum out of pocket being reduced from $8000 to $2000 starting in January of 2025. Great news for those with expensive drugs but it allowed the insurance companies to spread their loss of income to other Medicare members which resulted in most PDP plans going up in cost and Advantage plans reducing some benefits. Every insurance carrier reduced or eliminated some benefits, mostly for dental. Drug formularies changed, which is the list of drugs that each carrier publishes showing which prescription drugs are included in their plans. If a drug is not included in a carrier’s formulary, it is not subject to the $2000 maximum out-of-pocket cost. So be careful since a drug covered in 2024 may not be covered in 2025. This could result in very high prescription costs not covered by insurance.

Unfortunately, some people won’t realize this until they refill their prescription next year. Keep in mind that if this happens to you, there may be an opportunity to change your Advantage plan. Call for details.

If you are interested in changing plans on the Individual Market Place you have until Jan. 15 to switch plans for 2025.  I wish there were insurance plans on the individual Marketplace that were anywhere close to Medicare, but there aren’t.  However, if you would like to discuss other options, I’d be happy to help you know what they are.  Reach out anytime.

I want to say a big thank you to everyone that has reached out to me over the last two years that I have been contributing to this paper.  I have very much enjoyed the many relationships I have been fortunate to make. I also really appreciate the referrals. We have some great neighbors here around 30A. Genuinely.

Have a very merry Christmas!!

Please remember that our services are free, and we can do consultations over the phone or at your home, but I also welcome clients to visit my office in Santa Rosa Beach.  I am certified with many different insurance carriers, and I am happy to answer your questions and assist any way I can.

Email me at christian@evergreenhealthins.com or call (850) 687-7606.

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