by Kirk McCarley
A long time ago I was trying to negotiate an especially low point in life.
Work was demanding and often frustrating, finances were “hand to mouth” tight, and my wife and I had a couple of young children to clothe and feed. I was into playing that dangerous game of comparison—so and so’s life seemed easier or better, they were more successful, higher achieving.
An older, caring gentleman, recognizing my demoralization intervened and introduced me to a counselor friend of his, Gary. My friend further added, “I so believe that what Gary will say to you will make a difference that I’ll even pay for the session.” Somewhat embarrassed, yet desperate for answers, I acquiesced.
It’s been at least 25 years since the encounter with Gary, a conversation I’ve mostly forgotten. What I do recall though, is one crucial exchange where Gary asked me to describe what I felt. I characterized it as “feeling as if I’m in a wilderness, lost, silent, and afraid. I am pleading for rescue and escape. The only certainty is that through this despair I am leaning on and talking to God…a lot!”
I will never forget Gary’s response. “Although you may not relish where you are, if you are relying on God, then He has you exactly where He wants you.”
I would like to say that was a turning point, that things instantly took a turn for the better, self-esteem and confidence returned, darkness lifted, and finances improved. That just didn’t happen and trust me there more difficulties ahead. What did change was perspective and maybe the start of a process whereby bit by bit my need for so much control diminished. What was aroused was the beginning of a journey that deviated from the path I had been on.
Soon thereafter I transitioned to a different job in another city. It served to mark a new start, a time for reinvention and trying some things professionally not attempted before. A further development of personal “brand” so to speak led to less concern about what others might think and a greater focus on what might yield results. After only three years, another career opportunity presented itself, offering yet another laboratory for evolution.
By then I started enjoying a better career, augmenting it with other vocational activities delivering a still higher level of reward and satisfaction. Yet through that, I realized I had still not reached the capstone; there was “more” I felt “called” to do.
It was ten years ago last month that I hired a Career and Life Coach to help me define what would come next for me.
Thus, that journey began.
I was 60 by the time I launched my coaching practice and was by no means a spring chicken when it came to learning the nuances of operating my own business: marketing, advertising, networking, “selling.” Eventually, a little bit at a time, the construction of an enterprise commenced. The building project continues.
Perspective was critical.
For me, I find that my journey parallels the possibilities also experienced by many of my clients. It is like we are on an exploratory hike. The trail is clearly marked, but there will be alternate paths and tributaries along the way. What might they lead to?
In 2007 I backpacked the Grand Canyon via the Bright Angel Trail. Along the route, there were some options. We detoured to one leading to Ribbon Falls. Green, wet, cool, a welcome oasis in an otherwise hot, dry, dusty setting. Refreshing. A different path. Worth it!
What is your alternate path? What might you discover there? What is holding you back from taking it? In the middle of the wilderness might the start for your answer await?
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He also is a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact kirk@theseedsowercoach.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call 314-677-8779.
Author: Sowal Editor
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