By Kirk McCarley
In 2011, The Civility Project, a two-year bipartisan attempt to get politicians and others to respect one another, closed down after only three members of Congress agreed to the project’s pledge. The pledge was a simple 32-word statement: “I will be civil in my public discourse and behavior; I will be respectful of others, whether or not I agree with them; and I will stand against incivility when I see it.”
“You three were alone in pledging to be civil,” Christian publicist Mark DeMoss wrote in a letter announcing an end to the project. “I must admit to scratching my head as to why only three members of Congress, and no governors, would agree to what I believe is a rather low bar,” DeMoss said.
The three who agreed were Sen. Joseph Lieberman, I-Conn., Rep. Sue Myrick, R-NC, and Rep. Frank Wolf, R-Va. Sen. Lieberman has since passed and Rep’s., Myrick and Wolf no longer hold office.
Sadly, I wonder if not just three, but any of our elected officials would adhere to such a standard 14 years later. What would you do if you were called to that task? What do you do when there’s toxicity in your work environment or in relationships or on the playing field? What about when you’re “disrespected?” Don’t you have to sometimes unleash your anger and sprinkle it with a healthy dose of a profanity-laced diatribe to show ‘em who’s in charge? After all, that’s just how it is these days.
A ”stand-up guy (or gal)” refers to one who is honest, reliable, and possesses good character. They are someone who can be counted on to be trustworthy and do the right thing, even when it’s difficult. It implies someone who is loyal, dependable, and stands up for what they believe in. Might they subscribe to the tenets of Paul from Philippians “with humility of mind let each of you regard one another as more important than himself.”
Are you stand-up?
I watched season 2 of “Quarterback” on Netflix. This year’s series followed three NFL quarterbacks in the 2024 season, including Kirk Cousins, of the Atlanta Falcons. Late last season, Cousins got banged up and statistically, his performance diminished as did his team’s fortunes. A quarterback change was made and rookie first round draft pick Michael Penix, Jr. was inserted into the starting slot. The decision was obviously disappointing to Cousins, and the expectation may have been for him to have complained, demanded a trade, or publicly criticized Falcons management or the head coach. Instead, he called Penix, congratulated him on being named the starter and pledged to do what he could to assure his success.
Attorney, motivational speaker, and author Nathan Whitaker clerked early in his law career for US District Judge William Hodges. Judge Hodges had been given a cell phone by the government and each month Nathan watched the judge write a check to the United States, reimbursing taxpayers for any personal calls. The judge never commented on his procedure to his clerk.
One day Nathan commented, “Judge, isn’t it because of your job that you even need to make personal phone calls?” The judge responded, “That may be true, but sometimes it’s the appearance of impropriety that matters most. Following that course will never lead to criticism of me or my position.”
Not only impropriety itself, but the appearance of it!
Countless other examples of civility and integrity exist. Cincinnatus gained fame for his selfless devotion to the ancient Roman republic in a time of crisis and then gave up his reins of power to return to his farm when the crisis ended. Abraham Lincoln’s reputation for honesty made him a trusted figure in political disputes, often being sought to act as a mediator or judge.
How do you rate yourself on the scale of civility? How do your actions demonstrate that to others? Like Judge Hodges, does what you say or think imply a perception of uprightness and integrity? What do you do to cultivate a high standard of civility within your circle, tribe, and with those who don’t know you? What else might you do to raise the standard and leave an impressionable legacy?
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He is also a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact kirk@theseedsowercoach.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call (314) 677-8779.
