By Kirk McCarley
A while back, I was assigned to help produce a sporting event. One of the people I worked closely with lamented his frustration in not receiving additional projects and confessed his disappointment. Highly professional, he is more than technically proficient at what he does. What I observed, however, was a person so solely fixated on the one task that he was blind to contributing more broadly. I could tell he struggled to relate to others.
It was apparent to me that this was holding him back from what he wanted.
We gravitate towards those who are well-rounded, both personally and professionally. Those who are singularly focused on one topic area, be it work, politics, social media, children, religion, music, or sports, inevitably have trouble relating to others with more varied interests.
If you think you may be in that rut, then how do you become more well-rounded?
An article from Indeed provided some suggestions.
- Be comfortable promoting yourself. Humbly, I would add. First, identify your strengths. If you don’t know, ask a trusted family member or friend what they see. Then, develop some stories about how your talents benefited someone, focusing more on what the person achieved with your assistance than on what you may have done. Those who learn and then know your story will be able to draw their own inferences.
- Develop People Skills. How good are you at asking open-ended questions of others? Most of us enjoy talking about ourselves. Distinguish yourself by asking thought-provoking questions. Be curious and genuinely interested.
- Evaluate yourself. Reflect upon your meetings with others. What seemed to connect? Where might you have felt “brushed off?” Did you do more of the talking or listening (aim to listen at least 60% of the time)? Did you maintain good eye contact and affirm the other person?
- Learn continually. Read: on a variety of topics. Watch: be aware of what is occurring in your community and beyond. Listen: gain a sense of what reactions, responses, and moods are.
- Improve communication skills. Develop a comfortable rhythm and cadence that you find comfortable and that doesn’t move “faster than your brain.” Most people, I find, need to slow down their verbal delivery. How well do you inflect, pause, or hesitate to build interest or dramatic effect?
- Explore new experiences. Travel broadens our experiences significantly. What about finding a place in a book club or Bible Study?
- Find Focus in Your Life. What is your elevator pitch, your response to the question, either personally or professionally, that is a reply to the query, “tell me about yourself.” Is it multi-faceted, involving a wide array of subjects? If you were to be another person hearing your story, would it be tantalizing? How can your story be tweaked to stimulate interest yet maintain factual accuracy?
- Practice listening skills. We have two ears and one mouth. Are you utilizing these tools proportionately? When you are listening to someone in conversation, how well are you able to repeat back to them what they’ve just said? To what extent are you fully listening or instead preparing what it is that you wish to say next?
- Be more active. Exercise and physical activity will engage motor neurons. Plus, you’ll look better. If you attend a gym, there is also going to be a social aspect that allows for connection with others. Same with walking and often running.
A coaching colleague recently shared, “The smartest person in the room is the one who is learning from everyone else, not the one trying to show everyone else how smart they are. We learn very little by repeating our accomplishments, proving our intelligence, or reminding people how important we are. Instead, we learn when we listen, stay curious, and remain open to perspectives beyond our own. People are seldom impressed by our arrogance. They are impressed by our humility, kindness, curiosity, and genuine interest in them.”
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He is also a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact kirk@theseedsowercoach.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call (314) 677-8779.
