By Stephenie Craig
I’m 17 years into sending kids back to school and every year, it is still hard. Switching from one life rhythm to another in a day is hard on the brain and body. The sleep schedule changes, the morning and evening rhythms shift. Everyone in the house is a little overwhelmed and irritable. It gets better each week but I’ve found 6 weeks to be the sweet spot when we are all reoriented and things feel normal again.
Transitional discomfort is not isolated to returning to school. Maybe you’ve started a new job, added a child to the family, started care-giving for a family member, moved homes, or dropped off a child at college. Or, maybe you’re making a habit change like quitting smoking, eating healthier, moving your body, or trying to be more optimistic. All kinds of life transition can feel overwhelming at first and you might find yourself saying, “Why is this so hard?”
Your brain is wired for routine and repetition. Whatever you have been doing most consistently is what your brain gravitates toward. When you shift gears, make a change, or transition into a new way of doing things, your brain initially pulls you back toward your old, familiar routines it associates with safety and security. Rewiring your brain to the new pattern requires daily repetition over 3-6 weeks. In the beginning, you might feel overwhelmed and frustrated with the effort required to sustain your new rhythm. However, as you reach week three, you will often find it’s getting a little easier. After week 3, your brain begins to gravitate more and more toward the new behavior. And usually, around the 6-week mark, your brain doesn’t feel like it’s fighting the new direction you’ve purposed to go.
So, what are you supposed to do when transitional brain strikes and sticks around for 3-6 weeks?
8 Ways to Support Yourself Through Transitional Brain
- Notice and acknowledge. Notice feelings of overwhelm, irritability, brain fog, stress and exhaustion. Remind yourself you are experiencing transitional brain and it’s normal. Be kind and remind yourself it will take several weeks to feel your normal groove again.
- Name the source of transition. Observe what might be a transitional event in your life. Name back to school, moving homes, new responsibilities or whatever else defines your transitional time.
- Slow down. Your brain won’t go from zero to 60 in a day. Give yourself steps. This week we are going to focus on sleep schedule and homework. Next week we will focus on family dinners. The week after that we will focus on balancing school with weekend fun. When you force your brain to overhaul everything at once, you are less likely to sustain anything well.
- Prioritize rest. Transitional brain makes you tired. Try getting enough sleep at night and saying no to some commitments so you have time to rest and recharge.
- Regulate your mood. You are more likely to be frustrated, grumpy, and irritable during transitional brain. Notice when you are getting edgy and engage some regulating practices like stretching, sitting in nature, deep breathing, watching a funny show,
reading a book, moving your body, or talking to a friend. Remember to circle back and apologize to others if you’ve not been your best self.
- Be gracious to others. Try remembering others around you are also often having transitional brain. Be kind and curious rather than judgemental and shameful when others are struggling.
- Keep going. Put one foot in front of the other and you will find that days turn into a week and weeks turn into a month. At some point, you will be surprised to look up and notice you are feeling more normal and settled in your new life rhythm.
- Remember for next time. Try writing yourself a brief note in the notes of your phone about your experience with transitional brain so you can look back and see in your own words that you really will make it through next time.
You aren’t alone. People all around you are navigating various changes resulting in transitional brain. Try talking about it and connecting with your friends to normalize your experience. Hard things together feel better than alone. Connect with us for counseling and coaching along your journey at Journeybravely.com.
