By Pete Hyde
They stood at opposite ends of a long dark hallway – one in his 70s and the other in his 40s. It was a tense meeting. They had met once before when the younger was less than two years old, but there were no memories, only questions tucked away in the younger one’s mind and heart. The elder had wondered throughout his life what had become of this young life he had dropped off at the orphanage so many years before.
The meeting took place after much prayer and discussion. God had a hand in the arrangements for the meeting – the right contacts had been made, information was easy to acquire, and thousands of miles had been traveled easily. A language barrier separated the two men – strangers but yet related – making the meeting even more difficult and tense. It was father and son meeting for the first time since the father had given up the younger for adoption at the age of two. Over the next few days, a relationship was built – not a deep one, but a relationship. Answers came that led to more questions. Given his life circumstances, the father had done the best and loving thing for his son as a single parent with little prospect of being able to raise a child successfully.
A man stands at a graveside in the sweltering Oklahoma August heat. Only about ten people came to the service including family. Taps played in the distance. The firing squad squeezes off the 21-gun salute that pierces the quiet of the small town cemetery. He stands by the grave. Everyone is gone except his immediate family. He reflects on the life of his father – his adopted father. He was a strict man, a flawed man, a driven man. Being number one was his only option. The typical son things ran through his mind as he stood by the final resting place of the man who had raised him – baseball games, golf, fishing, camping, military life, anger, temper, drinking, the final months as this one who had shared his life began to deteriorate.
He turns and gets in the car and seldom returns to the quiet of that place. It’s been almost forty years, but the hole in the son’s heart is still there. He knows in his mind and his training has taught him it won’t go away. Perhaps he needs to return to that spot more often.
He now takes a few minutes to reflect on his role as a husband and father. He hopes he hasn’t done irreparable damage to his children. He hopes he has been the husband he has worked so hard to be. He said and did the things he said he would never say and do from his childhood. He is sorry sometimes. He is so proud of how they turned out and how his children have handled life. And now grandchildren bless his life. He knows he is blessed beyond measure to have a woman at his side whom God placed there specifically for him. He doesn’t tell them enough. Now he is a grandpa and a whole new role opens up.
He sits in the quiet of the church sanctuary before anyone else is there, before the phone begins to ring and before the week’s schedule begins to cloud his perspective. His Father is there – his Father in heaven. He has been blessed. No, life hasn’t always been easy and struggles are at the same time past, immediate and long-range. But God’s fatherly hand has been on his shoulder for a long time, even when he didn’t acknowledge it. He pauses in these few quiet moments to give thanks on this Father’s Day to his heavenly Father for the blessing, guidance and protection granted to him throughout his years.
Regardless of your experience or your relationship with your father, remember the influence, touch and presence of your heavenly Father before Father’s Day buzzes off the calendar and is forgotten until next year. He is with you every day and that’s all we really need to face whatever is before us.
Rev. Pete Hyde is the retired Pastor of the Santa Rosa Beach Community Church
Author: Sowal Editor
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