By Kirk McCarley
A coaching colleague recently posted about time, making a distinction between the time on our watches, clocks, and calendars (chronos) vs. a more spiritual dimension of the concept (Kairos). His piece struck me as it paralleled a message I heard at a worship service where the pastor correlated the two.
Clock time, chronos, is measurable, where the barometer can be evaluated through timekeeping devices such as an hourglass or calendars. Comparatively, the latter time, Kairos, is a more abstract notion that goes outside the elements of time movement. It can include those “time standing still” moments like falling in love, delivering a game-winning hit, or offering valuable wisdom to others going through difficult seasons.
Providing Kairos time suggests stepping out of the rush of everyday life to offer focused, spirit-led attention that creates space for divine encounters, deep relational bonding, and impactful divine work, even if it’s just for a sacred moment. Mary Kay Ash offered that “No matter how busy you are, you must take time to make the other person feel important.”
What do you see as your availability for Kairos? Consider our rapid-paced world where we are commonly overscheduled. There is appointment after appointment, commitment after commitment, with little reserve built in. Only so much time exists, and if you have the fortune of being in demand, many people want a piece of yours. The problem with existing fully on a schedule, a chronos, is that it has limits. There are only 168 hours in a week, 24 hours in a day. That will not change. What can be altered is your approach to time.
Some ideas:
- Put limits on meeting times. It is surprising how meetings scheduled for 60 minutes, for example, extend beyond that time parameter, often creating lateness to the next meeting. Better “return” time. That is to say, if the business for that one-hour meeting appears to be winding down after 45 minutes, leader, wrap it up then, seizing whatever energy and momentum has been captured to that point. People will appreciate the “extra” time, and who knows, maybe a Kairos opportunity might emerge.
- Set aside a period of availability daily. College professors provide office hours when they are available to students, for example.
- I find that many people take pride and comfort in the notion of being busy, no matter the actual degree of busyness or not. When asked by someone, “How are you?” they often respond, “busy.” Is that really true or merely more of a rationale or justification? It might also send a subliminal lesson of “leave me alone, I don’t have time”.
I resolved a few years back to delete the concept of “busy” from my lexicon. Rather than describing my state as busy, I try to refer to myself as either “engaged” or “occupied.” With that, I hope that my degree of approachability has been enhanced.
- Besides the desire to be heard and understood, one of the most sacred aspirations from my coaching clients is the need to have impact. Impact connotes the longing to live a life that positively influences others. Often it occurs not through a monumental achievement or elucidating profound words of wisdom, but rather in a kind handwritten note, a prayerful text, an invitation to lunch, or simply being present and available.
As we are in the early days of this still fresh new year, how will you allow a pace that will leave an opening for Kairos? Who is someone you need to have time for this year? How do you decide what you will make time for? What might it look like to make a deliberate effort at least four or five days a week to reach out to an obscure someone: a past co-worker or customer, a former coach or teacher, a neighbor from some place you lived ten years ago? What opportunities might be created from that flight delay, canceled engagement, or the grim weather that postponed the golf match?
Former first lady Barbara Bush shared these words. “At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spent with a husband, a friend, a child, or a parent.”
Who needs your time?
A graduate of the University of North Texas, Kirk McCarley is a Certified Professional Coach as well as a Professional in Human Resources (PHR) and SHRM-CP Certified. He is also a Production Assistant for both college football and basketball for ESPN and leads group cycling classes as a Certified Spinning instructor. Contact kirk@theseedsowercoach.com, theseedsowercoach.com, or call (314) 677-8779.
